Pretty Girl 10.01.11 - Valerie Azlynn

Not an athlete, but she played one on TV.  Also, she's pretty goddamn hot.  My fav of the bunch.

Oooh, Trivia!

With the 2011 Major League regular season at an end, all sorts of obscure occurrences have become official.  Let's take a gander:

Dodgers infielder Eugenio Velez finished the year 0-for-37.  37 at-bats.  0 hits.  That, my friends is a record.  Velez eclipse the late, great Hal Finney, who had held the mark for the 75 years since he failed in all 35 of his AB's for the 1935 Pirates.  Not only does Eugenio take home that record, but, as a lovely parting gift, he also set a new mark for futility over multiple seasons.  Velez is hitless over his past 46 trips to plate.  Another record, this one is still live.  Should an organization give him a shot in seasons to come, Eugenio has the rare opportunity to further perfect imperfection.  SB Nation's Grant Bisbee had this to say on Velez --

If you're not Giants or Dodgers fan, you might not have heard of him until just now, but he's amazing. He's fast, but he can't run the bases. He certainly can't bunt. You might think Steve Carlton holds the all-time record for pickoffs with 144. You'd be wrong. Velez has about 167 (rough estimate). He can't play second base or the outfield, which makes him like a Jack Cust but one who is routinely stuck at second base, or in the outfield. When Velez plays baseball, Hunter Pence stops to say, "My word, that Velez fellow is gangly and awkward."

Thought you had heard everything about the Red Sox perdition and the Rays glory?  How's about this one:

The odds that Rays would erase their September deficit, then overcome the Yankees 7 run 8th inning lead and that the Sox would blow their game against Baltimore?  1-in-278,000,000.  That is 1 in 278 million.  A little context:  According to the bookofodds.com, any of the members were more likely to get struck by lightning (1 in 835,000), win a Powerball drawing (1 in 195,000,000)  or die in a shark attack (1 in 250,800,000).

All of that still does not excuse this gaff by Boston Globe beat writer Dan Shaunessy --



Those self same Rays sent top pitching prospect Matt Moore (nice guy, nice outing) to the mound to start game 1 of their ALDS against Texas.  Moore had made 1 MLB start and would not have even been eligible for the post-season roster had Jeff Niemann not suffered an injury.  Both the single start and his 9.1 career innings pitched coming in are the lowest ever for a Game 1 SP.  7 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 2 BB, 6 K.  Not too shabby.

As always, more to come.

Cheers.

P.s.  Oops again Boston.  Good times never seemed so good.  So good.

Pretty Girl 09.30.11 - Kiira Korpi

They don't get more candid than the big shot of this figure skater.  Gorgeous.

I Coulda Been Somthin'! I Coulda Been a CPA!

Ke$ha: The Story of the $ from Kesha

I'm gonna call her Kesh4.

Dan Johnson, Robert Andino & Bryce Harper?

It has been a season of colossal collapses.  Shortly after the Braves tied the 1964 Phillies for the greatest squandering of a September lead (8.5 games), the Red Sox, in truly dramatic fashion, finished frittering away a 9 game cushion.  If you do not know about Johnson and Andino, I shall allow the good people from MLB.com to edify you below.  So, why the heck is Bryce Harper's name on the list?

On August 18th, the Harrisburg Senators played the last game of a three game set against the Aeros in Akron.  Jonesing for Harper's signature on a baseball, I bought the first row seats right next to the visitor's dugout.  Long story short, Bryce signed for a bunch of yahoos that were spilling over from the three rows back and, literally, signed for the retard next to me before sauntering into the dugout, leaving my desires unrequited.  I know that it seems utterly inconsequential.  I recognize that, in the grand scheme of things (whatever the hell that is), my lack of Bryce Harper's autograph is about on par with whether you trimmed your toe nails today.  Still, examined outside of a vacuum (I'll tell you later), the incident threw me into a spiral of despair.  As I struggled with the notion that life is comprised of only pain and disappointment, most other aspects of my life suffered.

One of those affected acitivities was... wait for it... my fantasy baseball team.  As I journeyed north for the long weekend that would undoubtedly include my acquisition of a prized sovereign, my fantasy team, The Long Ball (cuz chicks dig it), held a 29.5 point advantage.  As I utterly neglected my team, 20 points bled away in a week.  By the time that I finally regathered myself, it was too late.  Even as frantic transactions stabalized the situation, the lead continued to trickle into oblivion.  In mid-September, I relinquised 1st place for the first time since April.  Similar to Boston and Atlanta, I came into the final day still with an opportunity to avoid disaster.  I trailed by 3.5 and I had Matt Cain going.  Then Cain got scratched.  Crap.  In the end, the 120 transactions that shuffled my roster over the course of the 162 game schedule were inadequate and The Long Ball finished 2nd, 2 points behind.

To Jonathan Papelbon, to Craig Kimbrel.  To Derek Lowe and Daniel Bard.  To the fans on Yawkey Street and in Fulton County, as the long, cold winter begins, I will quote from from the Gospel of Baldwin, the prophet Stephen, the book of The Usual Suspects, "Bad day... fuck it."

Cheers.





P.s. Nice recap piece here.  Or as I said about 32 times, "Are you kidding me?"  Best night of regular season baseball that I have ever seen.  Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I had the Braves on the big screen, the Sox on my laptop and the Rays on an iPhone.  ;-j

Pretty Girl 09.29.11 - Mellisa Stark

I know she's a sideline girl, but that counts, right?  All I can think of when I look at her is the phrase "sweater puppies."

Pretty Girl 09.28.11 - Leryn Franco

I don't know about this pole vaulter, she seems a bit top heavy.  Still, any chick trained to vault poles is cool with me.

A Quest Called Tribe

I was not going to write tonight.  Then, Jim Thome laced an opposite field RBI double to draw him to within 2 ribs of 25th all-time.  This led me to look up Jimmy's numbers.  Turns out that the two-bagger pushed his average with the Tribe to an even .300.  Awesome.  Since September 6, Thome is batting .417 with an OPS of 1.167.  Forever humble, the Indians' all-time home run leader has stated that he might play one more year, but he "has to wait for the phone to ring first."  Ha.

I could sit here, bitch & moan.  I bet you thought I was going to start ranting on how Jeanmar Gomez squandered all of his positive momentum going into the off season.  I'm sure you pictured me down on my knees, thanking the almighty that I shall never have to watch C.H.U.D. Durbin throw another pitch for the Indians.  Sure, all of that is true.  Instead, I'll focus on the impressive work of Nick Hagadone.  Tonight, Nick did absolutely everything that you want a left-handed relief pitcher to do.  After entering with a runner on second and one out, Hagadone proceeded to retire All-Star catcher Alex Avila (a lefty) and Ramon Santiago (switch-hitter) to escape further damage.  In the seventh he was more dominant still, striking out a pair and picking off Ryan Raburn, whom he had walked, on an excellent move to first.  Now, he still has some control issues (16/29 pitches for strikes today, 6 BB in 11 IP), but his OBA is .118.  .118!  Given some of Tony Sipp's problems down the stretch (4.25 ERA since the end of June, 10 HR allowed in 62.1 IP), fully expect Hagadone to challenge for a bullpen spot next spring.

There is not much else to say, except that the boys fanned 13 more times and have a real shot to overtake the Mariners for the AL lead if they continue swing and miss tomorrow.  Huh, #1: Injuries, #2: Strikeouts.  It's startin' to come together, Pepper.

Here's to going out with a bang (and a .500 season).

Cheers.

P.s.  Here's a picture of Ty Cobb (just right of the dude in the straw hat) in an Indians uniform from the Addie Joss Benefit Game at League Park in 1911.  Never heard of it?  Before today, neither had I.  The Georgia Peach's trunk never arrived, so he had to borrow a uni.  Check out an excellent piece on the game here.

Flick to Click: The Grey

Opens 01.27.12

The Eye Of the Beholder

There lies beauty...





...which one do you prefer?

What's With the Scarves?

Hipster Bullies - watch more funny videos

So if I give up sports and only drink PBR, I don't have to get a job? I think I was a hipster before hipsters were hipsters.

Pretty Girl(s) 09.27.11 - Bia & Branca Feres

Even better than golf is synchronized swimming.  Whatever, dude, you can't argue with twins.

Music For the People

PSA time, cats.  If you have not yet, stop buying CDs.  Stop paying iTunes.  All music is now officially (and legally) free.  There are two options, one replacing the radio and the other, owned media.

Unless you're listening to the radio for the witty banter, log on to Slacker.com.  There are a plethora of stations to suit every taste.  Unlike Pandora, the service provides more than an odd dalliance of songs "related" to something you pick (their AI sucks).  If you like someone else to choose your music (my preference) or would just like to explore something new, check it out.

Option #2 (and, frankly, the one that blows my mind) is Spotify.  Sign up through their website (perma-link at the bottom of the sidebar) and gain access to the sharing of nearly every song ever recorded.  You can't (legally) download them, but who cares.  Via their stand alone platform, you can create and share playlists, rate music and check out the music of Facebook friends.  There is plenty of additional functionality that I have not even explored yet.  To be clear, they do not have literally every song ever made, but the only holes that I have found thus far have been local bands and the Beatles (ugh, Yoko give it up).

Between the two, all of your music needs are satisfied and both offer mobile services (for those of you with the smarty phones).

Check 'em out and save your coin for the things that will never go virtual.  You know what I mean.  ;-j

Cheers

Pretty Girl 09.26.11 - Anna Rawson

Wait... another golfer?  Maybe I should give this "sport" a chance.

A Quest Called Tribe

On August 15th, the Twins placed Delmon Young on waivers.  He was quickly claimed by the Tigers and we have all heard the anecdotes about Delmon taking the Twins bus to Comerica Park and his new Detroit teammates struggling to comprehend his presence in their locker room.  From seemingly every babbling voice in the peanut gallery, I heard such cries as "Why didn't the Indians claim him?" or "Couldn't the Indians have at least blocked Detroit?"  At the time, I noted Young to be a "non-factor" as he had posted a .662 OPS and just 32 RBI for Minnesota.  I further explained that the Tribe would get a similar boost when Shelley Duncan came back from an overnight in AAA forced by a numbers crunch.

Well, I suppose that I mildly underestimated Young, who has put up 26 RBI in 37 games for the Tigers.  Recognize, though, that his OPS since the trade is still a lowly .693.  For means of comparison, think Matt LaPorta (.710).  Duncan has matched Delmon every step of the way.  Young's numbers (.258/.280/.413, 6 HR) are actually worse than Shelley's (.298/.374/.606, 7 HR, 23 RBI) and the fact that the latter has 50 fewer PA's allows for the staggering difference in OPS.  Oh, did I forget to mention?  Duncan's OPS (do the math) is .980.  So, for all of y'all that are whining about how the Tigers' addition of Delmon Young caused the Tribe's downfall, perhaps it's time to stop playing WoW and regain some understanding of reality.

Speaking of reality, here's some harsh for ya.  The Indians have exactly 2 players (Asdrubal Cabrera, Carlos Santana) with more than 114 games played and just five in triple digits period.  If you were to organize the team's season line-up by most games at each position, the second base (Orlando Cabrera) would digging his own grave on the left coast and the center fielder (Grady Sizemore) would have appeared in fewer than half (71) of the games played.  Additionally, only one starter (Justin Masterson) has pitched every fifth day for the length of the season.  If you're wondering what derailed the dream... yeah, one word: injuries.

Hey, I'm not so pissed at Tony Sipp (though his propensity to serve up the gopher ball is troubling).  Instead, I plan to pour my bubbling cauldron of rage all over Fausto Carmona.  You see, the game should have never gone to extras and it would not have, had Carmona had the ability to shut down a bunch of scrubs.  Seriously, despite fielding their most respectable line-up of the entire series, the Twins featured just three honest-to-goodness major leaguers.  Could Fausto, he of the 15 losses and 5.25 ERA, limit Minnesota to three runs or fewer?  Hell, no!  $7mil for 2012.  Should the Tribe pick up the option?  HELL!  FREAKIN!  NO!

The boys need to take one of three from Detroit to finish .500 and two of three for the tantalizing 82-win plateau.

Then there's this...




Here's to making the Tigers squeal like pigs.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl Update! - Stacy Keibler

Damn you, Clooney.

Pretty Girl 09.25.11 - Natalie Gulbis

Welcome to hot female athlete week!  We'll begin with the obvious... golf?

Pretty Girl 09.24.11 - Michelle McCunn

Damn dog, don't say that I don't pay attention.  You're like a morman in a whoorehouse.  And she did graduate Cum Loudly.

A Quest Called Tribe (Storybook Edition Part 2)

No words tonight. Just enjoy it.

Cheers.

A Quest Called Tribe (Storybook Edition)

I have never seen players shake hands at the plate.  High five, bump the rock, bash brothers, even the butt slap, but never the respect that Shelly & Kip gave to Thome.

All Pretty Maids In A Row

How come I never go to weddings with bridesmaids like this? (I am assuming that they put out, jackass.) ;-j

Pretty Girl 09.23.11 - Noelia Marzol

Can there really be a "leaked private photos" scandal when the chick has already posed in the nude?

A Quest Called Tribe

Wow, I am in a much better mood tonight.  I guess that the complete thrashing of a division rival will do that. 

Let's talk 40-man roster.  As of today, two men (Josh Tomlin, Shin-Soo Choo) are on the 15-day disabled list. Of the remaining 38 players eligible for work in the bigs, 34 of them are active with the Indians right now.  That number will go to 35 of 39 by Saturday when Mitch Talbot is activated to make the start against Minnesota.  Most likely, the Tribe will transfer Tomlin to the 60-day DL to open the spot, as the young right-hander has been shut down for the season. 

In the 11-2 victory that brought the boys back to within a game of .500 (I am still fervently hoping for 82-80, which would require a 5-2 finish), we were treated to players thirty two, three and four on the depth chart.  #34 is, of course, Zach Putnam (8.31 ERA, 1.62 WHIP).  For a lengthy rant on Putnam, see yesterday's post. 

#33 would be Cord Phelps.  Phelps, who came in to pinch run for Travis Hafner after Pronk knocked his 1000th career hit, went 0-for-1 to drop his season average to .138.  Cord was considered "more major league ready" than Jason Kipnis when the former was promoted in early June.  Oh, how the tables have turned.  Phelps has not cracked a hit in almost three months, a span of 24 at-bats.  He has been allowed just 2 AB's since September 3rd.  Kipnis, on the other hand, launched his 7th homer tonight and has produced a staggering .917 OPS during his debut season.  Phelps' OPS is about half of that.

#32 belongs to Corey Kluber.  The low ranking has much more to do with his season numbers at AAA (7-11, 5.56), than the two appearances that he has made for the Indians.  Despite putting five men on his 2.1 innings, Kluber has pitched his way out of trouble.  Corey has not surrendered a run, while fanning three.  He will get a look for the fifth rotation spot, or even the long man role, next spring.

Speaking of which, it's so early, but I cannot resist.  Who will be the Tribe's starting five in 2012?  Three guys are in for sure.  Justin Masterson, Ubaldo Jimenez and Josh Tomlin will form the top 3.  Who's out?  Well, Carlos Carrasco is lost for the season after Tommy John surgery.  Although he started quickly and drew rave reviews from many (including me), David Huff is 0-4 with a 7.11 (.306 OBA, .912 OOPS) in September.  Manny Acta has obviously lost confidence in the lefty and Huff (4-17 over the past two seasons) would have to dazzle in Goodyear, if he even makes it that far.  So three are in, two are out and everyone else is in play.  Jeanmar Gomez looks to have cracked the code of MLB pitching (5-0, 1.80, 0 HR since his last recall) and should have the inside track on the #4 spot, although that is far from a sure thing.  Zach McAllister (especially if he can add another quality start this season), the aforementioned Kluber and Mitch Talbot will all be in the mix.  What's that huge elephant over there?  Oh, yeah.  Him.  In my opinion, the organization should thank him for 2007 and cut ties with Fausto Carmona.  This will probably not happen, so Fausto (34-58, 5.05 ERA, 1.50 WHIP excluding '07) will be in contention as well.  We shall look at this more as the off-season progresses, but do not place any money on Carmona making the 2012 opening day roster.

Here's to seeing #31 (Luis Valbuena) tomorrow.

Cheers.

Clowns To the Left Of Me, Jokers To the Right...

Stuck in the middle, tattoos...

Don't Not Do It! Not Google+ Isn't Not the Best Thing Ever.

I'm not just a spokesman, I'm also a client. ;-j

MVotD - Rihanna - S&M

I need to go clubbing.  Wait... Who said that?

What Your Grandma Thinks

You mean this crap doesn't happen to everyone?

Pretty Girl 09.22.11 - Amanda Musso

Hey, she was credited as "Attractive Woman" on Modern Family tonight.  How could I pass her up?  ;-j

A Quest Called Tribe

I am utterly and completely sick of Manny Acta.  While it has been a long, roller-coaster season for both the players and the manager, Acta honestly seems to have lost his freakin' mind.  True, there is not much left to quest for (the Tribe can officially no longer meet my 85 win projection), but there is still pride, second place and a winning season.  Manny is utterly oblivious to all of this.

Yesterday, with a Game 1 win and a 4-3 lead after 6 innings (props to Zach McAllister) of Game 2, who did the "Former Montreal Expos" (his words) call on to hold the lead?  Zach Puntnam.  Zach Putnam?  Zach.  Mother.  Fucking.  Putnam.  The non-prospect went right ahead and handed the game to the ChiSox by allowing hits to 3 of the first 4 and then unceremoniously plunking Paul Konerko before taking his 10.80 ERA and first big league loss to the showers.  Weird that Nick Hagadone (a man with an actual future in the majors) came in and tossed 1.2 scoreless.  With all of the options available to him with expanded rosters, after playing the 7-8-9 game perfectly in the top half of the twin bill, Acta looked like a colossal idiot in gifting Chicago with a victory.

"Oh," you say, "Manny was just testing the young talent in a key situation."  Hmm.  Even if we disregard the fact that Putnam does not qualify as "talent," Acta went right ahead and did himself one better (worse?) this evening.

Hang on, I have to breathe.

First, Manny refused to pull Ubaldo Jimenez.  He refused to pull him after six 1-run innings and a 2-1 lead.  He refused to pull him as U hit 100 pitches and allowed the Sox to tie the game.  He refused to pull him following 2 seventh inning walks and a wild pitch.  Jimenez remained in the game long enough to serve up a two run single to Alejandro De Aza on pitch 116.

Not so bad, right?  4-2?  The Indians, back in the hole, still clung to a chance for a late inning comeback.  In fact, the bats put up two in the bottom of the 8th.  The game goes to the 9th knotted at 4.  What?  Really?

Yeah, I forgot about the most compelling piece of evidence that Acta has gone off of the reservation.  With his team trailing by two, with so many goals left to play for, with that huge fucking stable of arms in the 'pen...

I might not be able to say this...

Acta brought in Chad Durbin (FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to pitch the 8th.  Durbin was able to retire three hitters, that much is true.  Around those outs, though, the White Sox scored four runs on three long balls.  Yes, three home runs.  I have not the lexicon to explain the intense level of apathy and misjudgment that might allow this to happen.

Bah.

I will delve in to personnel issues when the season is done.  For now, let me say this...

Priority #1 for 2012 MUST be adding Mike Sarbaugh to the major league coaching staff.  My preference would be for him to replace Crack-ta, but I shall remain realistic (for now).  For those who do not know, allow me to briefly detail Sarbaugh's resume.  He has managed for 8 seasons (2004-2011) and has risen from SS-A (Mahoning Valley) to AAA.  He has never had a losing season (worst @ .522, career .585).  In those 8 years, he has won FIVE league championships.  In each of the past two years with the Clippers, Mike's team has taken both the Governor's Cup as the IL Champion and the AAA National Championship.  During his 22 consecutive years within the Indians organization, Sarbaugh has won championships as a player, coach and manager.  He has already managed 22 of the 40 man roster (excluding rehab stints).  Enough is enough.  If for no other reason than to change culture, Mike Sarbaugh needs to be with the Tribe in 2012.

Here's to Acta getting crushed by a falling piano.

Cheers.

Physics Need Not Apply

No way, yo.

Pretty Girl Update! - Hayden Panettiere

Hey, Hay.