Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Pretty Girl 09.01.11 - Erin Daniels

MILF eye candy in the upcoming flick, The Sitter.

Talk About A Pujols!

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Apparently, the word on the street is that it's funny and cool to tease adult fans. They don't matter.  Perhaps Albert should have nailed him in the nuts too, that's always good for a laugh.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Ballin'!



Wish this tour would come to my town.

Pretty Girl 08.31.11 - Hope Dworaczyk


Uhh... Playboy... um... pretty... ehh.  Wow.

A Quest Called Tribe


TGFO.  Thank God For Oakland.  The Athletics make our Indians look like the '27 Yankees meet the '95 Braves.  Where to begin...  You all know that I am a bit biased toward Captain Jack Hannahan.  So, we are going to take a look at this.

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Jack is now clipping at .447 since August 15th, including the above moon shot and 10 RBI.  I heard Manning say what a great swing Carlos Santana put on his home run.  What we all know is that Big Smooth swings from his heels every time that he bats left-handed and just happened to contact a Trevor Cahill mistake.  Still, Santana is hitting .293 with 6 HR and 20 RBI since July 30th and has joined Asdrubal Cabrera, Travis Hafner and Jason Kipnis as the only Indians with an .800+ OPS.

Guess who sports an OPS of .694?  I will give you a hint: he now plays for the Columbus Clippers.  That is correct, sir!  Everyone's favorite failed prospect, Matt LaPorta, was optioned down to AAA to make room for Jeanmar Gomez.  Manny Acta was very careful to explain that Matty was not demoted because of his poor production, but, rather, because he played the only position that the Indians are healthy at.  Hmmmm, they do seem to have two third basemen, one of whom has the exact same batting average (.238) as LaPorta.  The brass tacks are that the Tribe preferred to keep Lonnie Chisenhall and his left-handed bat amidst the sea of sinister hitters rather than stick with Matt's right-handed stick.  Allow me to translate: Matt LaPorta was sent down because he was not helping the team.  Sure, he will be back in 2-10 days (no one can confirm for me if the ten day rule still applies in September), yet one would imagine that this is highly indicative of the organization's valuation of a player who was projected as a superstar.

Nice.  Now that I have exhaled, I shall give Jeanmar Gomes the proper respect for a start that I really did not think that he had in him.  The key tonight for Gomez was that he recognized the poor quality of Oakland's lineup and pitched accordingly.  Jeanmar did not mess around, did not nibble.  Rather, he dared the A's to hit and they did not.  Nice coincidence that this spot start (will there be a 2nd?) came against a team that has very little ability to produce runs.  Hopefully, today's outing will give Gomez the confidence and momentum to win a few for the club in September.

Oh, by the way, Grady Sizemore will DH tomorrow for Akron, then play 7 innings in the field on Thursday.  Grady will be re-evaluated on Friday and, if all goes well, will join the Tribe no later than Monday.  Awesome.

And for those who might have missed it, Zeke Carrera is pretty fudgin' fast.  It is a good thing that Jim Thome was not on base ahead of him or Ezequiel likely would have passed him on Kosuke Fukudome's 2 run double.

Here's to beating up on those weaker than us. ;-j

Cheers.

Pretty Girl Update! - Julianne Hough


Haha, Julianne's phone got hacked.  Too bad there's nothing dirty.  Make-up goes a long way, huh?

Check out the whole lot, here.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.30.11 - Rebecca Hall


Every chick should be as forgiving as she was in The Town.

A Quest Called Tribe

Maybe next time Manny Acta will choose not to eff up a huge start against Detroit by forcing a starting pitcher to enter in the 14th inning.  Opinions abound (Manning thinks David Huff was "pitching scared" against the Tigers) and mine is that Huff was completely out of rhythm.  Numbers do not lie.  Huff in his screwy 08.20 start: 0-1, 19.29 ERA, 3.43 WHIP, .444 OBA.  The sum total of his other four starts: 2-1, 0.38 ERA, 0.93 WHIP, .184 OBA.  Feel like arguing that the A's have an anemic offense?  Recall that two of the other three opponents were the Red Sox and Angels.  Detroit lost, the Indians sit 5.5 back and, if there is any hope of a September surge, David will have to continue his tremendous work.  Good lookin', man, keep it goin'.

What to say about the bats?  Cord Phelps is 0-for-12 since coming back from Columbus and is down to .155.  I would suspect him to be optioned out when Jeanmar Gomez is added to start tomorrow.  Also, supposedly, Matt LaPorta is a hitter.  You could have fooled me.  Matty is now hitting a meek .238 with a sub-.700 OPS and a 79/20 K/BB ratio.  Are there positives about the offense?

Although he has trouble bunting and generally catching the baseball, Zeke Carrera is pretty damn fast.

Oh, and Vinnie Pestano is back to nasty.  Love it.

Here's to Chris Perez holding onto that 1-2-3 feeling.

Cheers.

A Quest Called Tribe

Jerad Head made his major league debut on Sunday.  In his very first AB he was credited with a base hit.  Very much like the Indians' season, it was mostly a Pyrrhic victory.  Just as the Tribe's 30-15 start and .500 record mean virtually nothing as they will almost surely miss the post-season, Head's 75 foot dribbled counts as a single, but in no way assures that he can hit big league pitching.  I guess it is kind of cool that Jerad (a 28 year old former undrafted free agent) will go down in the annals with at least one hit.

Space was made for Head on the 40-man roster by transferring Michael Brantley to the 60-day DL, his season is over.  Nick Hagadone was sent back to Columbus, without making an appearance, to open an active roster spot.  Not to worry, Nick will be back in September.  Brantley has dealt with what has now been revealed as a broken hamate bone for several weeks.  The injury is such that it does not inhibit movement, but causes an enormous amount of pain.  With Shin-Soo Choo out for several days with his core issues, the decision was made for Michael to get surgery.  Thereby, the Indians were able to add Head without having to DFA a player.  Recovery time for hamate surgery is 6-9 weeks, so Brantley could be back for the World Series.  ;-j

Strangely, having abandoned all hope of the Tribe overtaking the Tigers, the pain of Sunday's loss was not nearly as acute as the first 64 of 2011.  Well documented is my intense hatred of losing.  Losing, nothing but losing, for as long as I can freakin' remember.  While the defeat still stings, viewing it solely as an L and not as the daily indication that life is pain, sort of takes the venom out of the snake bite.  Although there are plenty of building blocks for next season (especially if Tim Belcher can rebuild Ubaldo Jimenez's delivery), 2012 is a year away and I need a GD win.

Here's to remembering how to hit with runners in scoring position.

Cheers.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.29.11 - Paget Brewster


Nice rack.  And it's fun when chicks say "fuck."

Fantasy Vs. Reality

Too funny --



All too true --


Click here for more ridiculous iPhone apps.

Cheers

More Than I Knew



You have to remember that the war of 1812 didn't even take place in 1812.  Or is that the Hundred Years war not lasting 100 years?  No, I'm pretty sure it's both.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.28.11 - Angela Martini


Yeah, Ms. Alabania means a lot more than it used to.

A Quest Called Tribe

Something that you may not know about baseball writers is that they begin composing their pieces in the 6th or 7th inning and if something happens late then they pretty much have to scrap it and start over.  While I am not delusional enough (close) to count myself as one of the brethren, I have been forced to rewrite this about six times.  The first draft led with Hammerin' Jack Hannahan, the middle few with the paragraph below and now, well, I am sure that you agree that Asdrubal Cabrera has earned it.  Breaking out of an 0-for-13 skid AzCab delivered three hits including the game winning shot, on cue from Underwear.  Take a second and drink it in.

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(double-click to play)

I do believe that Jim Thome simply being on the field makes it feel like a playoff game and nothing is better than a playoff win.  It took Jimmy seven Indians plate appearances to make solid contact for the first time, but the result was, simply, beautiful.  The sixth inning solo home run, #602 for Thome, tied the game at four and commanded a curtain call from the future Hall of Famer.

Hannahan came through twice with two outs, an RBI single in the second and a two run triple in the 4th.  Since August 12th Jack is rapping at .429.  He also gained the ignominious distinction of becoming the 1000th Tribe hitter to strike out this season.  That leads the league.  Lou Marson quickly followed with #1001 as the Wahoo's squandered a fantastic opportunity to take the lead in the bottom of the 6th.  Or was it the 7th?  Yeah, no, the 7th was two K's and a pop-up to strand ducks on the pond.  Classy.

And if you want the textbook definition of ignominious ("deserving or causing public shame") just look at the top of the 7th.  HBP + E3 + "Gas Man" Sipp = 7-4 Royals.  I know Tony has been solid all season, but 8 gopher balls in 53 innings?  Good grief.

Shin-Soo Choo left the game in the middle of the 5th inning after aggravating his strained back or maybe it is "left side soreness."  Regardless, Choo is currently listed as the infamous "day-to-day."  We should all hope that Choo can play again soon, as the Indians have exactly zero additional healthy outfielders left on the 40-man roster.  With September 1 right around the corner, I would not expect him to land on the DL.  Should Choo be sidelined for an extended period the organization will be forced to DFA someone and add an extra outfielder.  Unless Grady Sizemore would be ready (doubtful), either Jerad Head or Travis Buck could be called on with Luis Valbuena the probable odd man out.

In case you missed it earlier, Jeanmar Gomez was scratched from his scheduled start at AAA.  The Clippers brought Paolo Espino back on 3 days rest, so the change was not on a whim.  All signs point to Gomez getting the start on Tuesday against Oakland.  Should Zach McAllister take the ball for Columbus tomorrow, this becomes a foregone conclusion.

Best game of the season.

Here's to PFP.

Cheers.

Jade Bile

I wonder if anyone else will ever truly understand the final straw.  Since nothing has innate value and only those things to which we ascribe worth hold any meaning, the details of my particular stalk of wheat are irrelevant.  Let's say your priority was making money and you worked for Enron or you value child-rearing and your first born will no longer speak to you.  Imagine if you were the last person to honestly believe that the world was flat.  None of these would destroy you, but each would fundamentally alter your view of the world. 

After an arduous agony of attempting to attune with the status quo (that is, playing by the rules), for the dismal and rejection to be so public and intentional demands that the course be reverted.  I had been told to change my ways often enough that it lost all meaning.  Having actually committed to integrating myself and having so colossally failed, I can only do what I should have since minute one: trust myself. 

Get ready, it's gonna be a helluva ride.

Jeanmar Gomez Scratched @ Columbus

Expect JG to start Tuesday vs Oakland.

Cheers.

Minajin' Selena Gomez



Dunno if I dig more the rap or the legs.  Damn, now I've got the words "wrap" and "legs" stuck in my head with Selena Gomez.

Cheers

MVotD - JGL! OMG!





Cool cat, but does he really have the chops?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.27.11 - Megyn Kelly


Possibly hot enough to make me consider watching FoxNews.  And feisty, check it out.







The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Lactate Intolerance
www.thedailyshow.com


Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

It's always an entitlement unless it's something you want. Wah, wah.

A Quest Called Tribe

Well, it is now official: Jim Thome is not the second coming of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.  Hopefully, Thome (0-4, 2 K, 0 balls out of the infield) rid his stomach of fluttering butterflies and will come to the park tomorrow ready to mash.  Still, it was beyond awesome to see him wear the Wahoo again. If I had been surfing the NC tonight, I would have made it my business to help welcome Mr. 601 back into the fold.  Serendipitously the Thominator's return fell on Dollar Dog Night and the pairing produced a sellout, just the Tribe's fourth of the campaign.

On the field, the top third of the Indians' lineup combined for a solid 0-for-13.  Asdrubal Cabrera (.281) is hitless in his past 13 AB's and is stuck in his first real slump of the season. At least he has stopped slamming the bat down after every at-bat.  Luckily, Captain Jack Hannahan (2-for-3, RBI, .236) continued to lead the charge.  Jack has hit in 9 of 10 for a .419 clip and turned a couple more of his standard highlights at the hot corner.  I have always said that a huge key to the team's success is the 5-8 portion of the order.  Tonight, they were 7-for-12.  They might have produced another run or two, except Steve Smith has, apparently, forgotten what the stop sign is.  Even Carlos Santana, as he scored run #1, would have been cut down without a fantastic hook slide.  I am all for being aggressive, but maybe you choose not to run on the league leader in outfield assists.  Maybe...

Ubaldo Jimenez claims that he was able to get ahead of hitters tonight.  While this is flagrantly untrue (16 2-0 counts), the first pitch is phenomenally important for the erratic right hander.  Hitters stroke .406 off of Ubaldo on the first pitch, compared to a .331 league average and .310 after a 1-0 count, versus .274 AL wide.  What does this mean?  Simply put, if Jimenez (7 IP, 7 H, ER, BB, 10 K) does not have command of his fastball, cannot throw it in a good spot for strike one, then he is going to get the shit kicked out of him.  Against the Royals, he was able to establish that command after surrendering the blast to Eric Hosmer and escaping a very shaky fourth inning.  During innings 5 through 7, big U fanned five while allowing one hit.  That is the kind of dominance that the organization paid for.  We need that every 5th day.

In case you missed it, Josh Tomlin (sore right elbow) and Michael Brantley (sore right wrist) have ballooned the Indians' disabled to seven players.  LHP Nick Hagadone was in the bullpen tonight, though he will likely depart when Tomlin's spot in the rotation comes up.  Hopefully, Carlos Carrasco is ready to pitch by Tuesday, as neither Jeanmar Gomez nor Zack McAllister seems like a positive choice.

Here's to Matt Underwear whipping his dick out on air.  That one moment of discomfort would be well worth never having to hear him blather again.

Cheers.

Flick to Click: The Rum Diary



Wow. Depp as Thompson AND Amber Heard?  I might go to the theater for this one.

Opens 10.28.11

Are You Cereal?



Apparently this is a joke.  Why Emma Stone?  All very strange.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Quest Called Tribe




Jim Thome is expected in uniform tomorrow.
I do not want to talk about yesterday's game.  It was not televised and nothing positive happened anyway.  Instead, as your Cleveland Indians sit 6 full games back at 63-64, I shall throw some numbers at you to explain what exactly went so horribly wrong after a 30-15 start.  I have officially given up.  That is not to say that I will not cheer on the Tribe, but that sense of hope and joy, the expectation of winning that arose during April has now completely evaporated.  How did our magical season degrade into another of the North Coast's well-worn exercises in disappointment and futility?

Let us tackle this in chunks --

May 24 (30-15, 7 games up) to June 12 (34-29, tied for 1st)

Blame this on the bats.  Batting average: 227, Runs per game: 2.89, OPS: .633, K-to-H: 146-to-136.  As this was the first rough patch, we have all been apt to throw the offense under the bus, regardless of what has gone wrong.  But, wait...

July 3 (44-37, 1.5 games up) to August 7 (56-56, 4 games back)

Hang this on the bullpen with their 7 losses and 4.82 ERA.


Everyone was culpable -

C Perez: (07.09-08.06) 0-2, 2/4 SV 8.64 ERA .333 OBA
Pestano: (07.06-08.02) 0-1 8.00 ERA .308 OBA
Smith: (07.18-08.07) 0-2 5.23 ERA
R Perez: (07.10-08.05) 1-1, 6.00 ERA .297 OBA
Sipp: (06.28-08.02) 3-2 6.17 ERA .283 OBA [(06.28-07.20) 1-2 9.95]

That is an unbelievably rocky stretch for a 'pen that has only dropped 17 games all season while posting a 3.28 ERA.   Every single member simultaneously forgot how to pitch.

August 19 (62-58, 1.5 games back) to August 24 (63-64, 6 games back)

You guessed it, the starting five.  These numbers boggle the mind.  0-5, 9.61 ERA, 1.93 WHIP, .362 OBA, 1.034 OOPS.   Oops is right.

In a nutshell, everything (except for the defense, the Tribe is still 2nd in the league) went to shit.

Here's to the boys pulling up their bootstraps and giving us a September ride.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 08.26.11 - Monica Bellucci




This chick you have to talk into her clothes.

Pretty Girl Update! - Victoria Justice

Holy dromedary, Batman!  It doesn't get any better than this.

Cheers

MVotD - Sugar High



I think this chick is better than Renee Zellweger (and the clip has better audio).



Cheers

White Men Can Jump



Pretty wicked dunk from an 18 year old white boy... 25 years ago.  You remember Rex.  First ever pick for the Charlotte Hornets?  Never saw a shot he didn't like?  I have no idea why this was trending on YouTube, but I'll take it.

Cheers

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.25.11 - Noureen DeWulf


I think that I might need to move to Bollywood.

A Quest Called Tribe

The dream is dead. Post-mortem to follow.

Here's to 2012.

Cheers.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Pretty Girl 08.24.11 - Melissa Ordway

It's a two for one special!  See if you can figure out what they have in common.

Pretty Girl 08.23.11 - Raquel Alessi

You almost got rid of me, but this broad is just too hot.